Rules of Engagement

Creating boundaries for oneself, especially in digital spaces, is really important for one’s well-being. I was inspired by Tanya DePass’s “How to interact with me on twitter” to create this guide for myself.

The boundaries I’m about to share are specific to me, and how you can get the best reaction out of me online.

Email

This is always the best way to contact me. Here is how I approach email communication:

  • I respond to emails between 10AM ET and 6PM ET.
  • I do not respond to emails on the weekend.
  • I respond usually within 3-7 business days, unless I’m traveling. I may respond sooner, but use this as a benchmark.
  • I tend to read emails immediately, but do not respond quickly.
  • Email is meant to be asynchronous. Please be patient when emailing me, or anyone. Everyone manages their inboxes differently.

Twitter

This is usually the second best place to contact me, unless I’m taking a Twitter break (and my breaks tend to be unplanned/unannounced).

  • Push notifications for Twitter on my phone are completely turned off. So are email notifications.
  • My DMs are usually open. I indicate status in my Twitter profile bio.
  • If you have an urgent/business-related request, do not DM me. Send an email, instead.
  • If you send me a non-urgent DM, make sure to @ mention me to let me know. My notifications are off, but I do check my Twitter mentions regularly.

Instagram

I rarely use. Do not send me important professional/any messages here. Notifications are off and I will not see them. Email me, instead.

LinkedIn

I rarely use. Do not send me important professional/any messages here. Notifications are off and I will not see them. Email me, instead.

Facebook

I do not use. Do not send me important professional/any messages here. Notifications are off and I will not see them. Email me, instead.

General Behaviors of Notes

There are a few other behaviors I feel are important to note here. Ignoring these will likely have you ignored or manually blocked. Take a look:

Complexity: I’m a complex and complicated human being, just as you are. I often talk about topics such as gender, race, etc. that tend to make people feel uncomfortable. If that bothers you, that’s okay, but do not ask me to change what I talk about/how I talk about it.

Demands: I will not tolerate demands or expectations of my time. I endeavor to treat your time in the same way.

Following: On social media platforms, there’s often a belief that if you follow someone, they should follow you back. I don’t follow everyone who follows me. Don’t ask me to follow you back.

Respect v. decency: While I believe that respect is earned, I do not feel the same is true for decency. Decency is inherent. If you choose to dive into insults, slurs, snark, pandering, arrogance, sophomania, presumption, egomania, or condescension, you will not receive a response from me.

Politeness v. directness: I tend to be a very direct individual. To some, this may seem impolite. I do not act with malicious intent, but some people are very sensitive to direct ways of speaking and prefer passiveness. I do not. If you engage with me, please expect me to always be direct with you, and I will always endeavor to do so kindly.